Saving grace?!

I had been looking forward to this run all week! My runs this week had all felt great so I had positive thoughts for this 14.5 mile run. However, I woke up with a heavy heart... Two months ago today, a very important person walked away leaving me with a million questions and a horrendous feeling of worthlessness. As I began the search for answers and desperately trying to find myself, I ran head first into this crazy thing called running! I'd been training for just a few short weeks at the time but my head had been so clouded before that running felt like a chore. I needed something to temporarily fill a void but at the same time allow me to discover who I was... Running has been one of my saving graces since then- offering a sense of comfort, accountability, honesty, and passion. I was hoping this saving grace would help me lighten my heart this morning so that my run would be smooth, but I think "Grace" and I were fighting today because she was nowhere to be found ;)
I started off feeling slow and the three newly formed blisters from this weeks runs were painful from the beginning (thanks to my new shoes!) I knew after a few miles I would forget about them, as long as I didn't stop!! I must have zoned out for a mile or two because when I came back to reality I had passed my turn by several blocks, gah! The only way back would add on at least another mile. Sure a mile is a relatively small distance; however, when its already stamped in your mind that you are going to run 14.5, any amount of additionaly distance is mentally deflating. But I had no choice at this point, so I pushed on! The thought of adding additional mileage, my still heavy heart, and not-so-light feet got the best of me. I just couldn't get into a rhythm or zone back out. Even at my favorite spot out in the desert, there was no sense of serenity or peace like the week prior. Just a flood of emotions as I peaked the crest of the hill- frustration, sadness, and determination mixed with many others. I tried some visualization and mental tricks I have been reading about, but nothing worked. I was just not meant to have a good run today... bottom line. It felt as if my run would never end and even my GU gel packs didn't provide the pick-me-up they usually do!  Somehow I kept my feet moving and made it home. The additional mileage brought my run to 15.69 miles... which is a PR for me! Longest I have ever ran in my whole life... until next weeks 16 or so! I also took my first icebath EVER!! My dear friend, Wonder Woman, does this after her long runs so I decided to try it out :) My long run will have to be mid-week next week so I wanted to make sure my legs were as fresh as they could be. The icebath wasn't as bad as I thought it would be so I may try it again next week :)
Well, here's to next week's long run being more successful than today! Have a good week

NOTES of the DAY:
*Temperature: 70 degrees
*Song of the day: "Drop the World" by Lil Wayne
*Tip of the day: Accept and appreciate the fact that not every single run can be a good one. (working on this one lol)
*Quote of the day: "We run, not because we think it is doing us good, but because we enjoy it and cannot help ourselves...The more restricted our society and work become, the more necessary it will be to find some outlet for this craving for freedom. No one can say, 'You must not run faster than this, or jump higher than that.' The human spirit is indomitable."